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Kirby Krackle

by Kirby Krackle

/
1.
There's nothing worse than a false start, spinning out yeah and dodging all the turtle parts Can somebody help me? I'm trying to get back to the beginning! Life's a highway of Do or Die's, Lightning bolt shrunk me damn near 1,000 times Can somebody help me? I'm trying to get back to the beginning... I've got a princess in my rear view mirror, I've got Italians on either side, I've got a feeling things aren't gonna get better, so I ride! There's nothing better than a Blue Shell, Send it off yeah and send the leader straight to hell Somebody help me, I'm trying to get back to the beginning! It's hard to show someone how it feels, spending half your life slipping on banana peels Can somebody help me? I'm trying to get back to the beginning... I've got a princess in my rear view mirror, I've got Italians on either side, I've got a feeling things aren't gonna get better, so I ride! Well sometimes you get off track, and then a little yellow man in a smiling cloud brings us back It's easy to wander far from the shore... I can't compete with an evil clone, wearing matching clothes, race me like a throroughbred, little mushroom head Somebody help me? I'm trying to get back to the beginning I've got a princess in my rear view mirror, I've got Italians on either side, I've got a feeling things aren't gonna get better, so I ride! I've got a princess in my rear view mirror, I've got Italians on either side, I've got a feeling things aren't gonna get better, so I ride, I ride, ride, ride...
2.
Oh, somebody told me once, you can't be a lover and a confidant and still be a hero made of Big Orange Rocks at the same time... Oh no! But I, I haven't learned it yet, I still blame it all on the accident the big brain says I'll get fixed, but I never will That's why I've never felt like one of the guys... One of the Guys, One of the Guys! That's why I've never felt like one of the guys One of the Guys, One of the Guys! That's why I've never felt like one of the... Thugs, along Yancy Street, I never saw a face I didn't wanna beat I can't go to dinner with my girl without breaking the table, Oh no! My whole life, I was walking tall, now I can't even go to the mall They call me the ever lovin' blue eyed thing I don't wanna be Cause I've never felt like one of the guys... One of the Guys, One of the Guys! That's why I've never felt like one of the guys One of the Guys, One of the Guys! That's why I've never felt like one of the... I find I'm singing this refrain, cuz I doubt this feeling will ever change It's been like this for oh so long... Spent my life feeling this way, but after all this time I found, it's fed me all along and it's made me strong... When the time comes to end the fun, I'm the one that gets the business done, ain't no one in the world that can get in my way Oh no! I've found a place among my friends, and I'll be there up until the end the first family to make me forget I was so grim That's why I finally feel like one of the guys... One of the Guys, One of the Guys! That's why I finally feel like one of the guys One of the Guys, One of the Guys! That's why I finally feel like one of the guys So now I say it's Clobberin' Time, it's Clobberin' Time Now it's Clobberin' Time, it's Clobberin' Time So now I say it's Clobberin' Time, it's Clobberin' Time Now it's Clobberin' Time, it's Clobberin' Time So now I say it's Clobberin' Time...
3.
Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right B, A, Select, Start, I'm trying to unlock your heart From years of walls, and when Hyrule falls I'm hoping that the things I do are working to connect with you. I see that you frequent my shop I'd like for you to know my name, the call me box 138 I think, we are due, for a walk Cause like me you pull from the middle, and skip the books up on the top, so... Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right B, A, Select, Start, I'm trying to unlock your heart From years of walls, and when Hyrule falls I'm hoping that the things I do are working to connect with you. I wish I could know what you dream Are you flying high without a care? Do people often stop and stare? Cause you're both a girl and fan I bet it's hard to join the rest with fanboys staring at your chest, so... Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right B, A, Select, Start, I'm trying to unlock your heart From years of walls, and when Hyrule falls I'm hoping that the things I do are working to connect with you. Even though it's improbable, it seems that this could go my way I should take a risk, then like Wilson Fisk, be the Kingpin of this day then you turn around and say hello, and everything's okay That night, when we went on a date our goals in life we talked about while sipping on a Guiness stout until we drove back to your place I said we should do it again that's when you stabbed me with a pen because you planned to murder me cause you've been stalking me for weeks and then shoved me in your house and punched me hard right in the mouth and warned me that I shouldn't scream or you'd gut me like Wolverine this date had turned out kinda sucky i thought i was getting lucky not cut up in little bits and served up as your favorite dish she's a man-eater I'm told like the song from Hall & Oates influenced by The Temptations played on the 60's on every station I don't know where this song will end but I don't care because I'm dead Whoa oh, cause I'm dead Whoa oh, cause I'm dead Whoa oh, cause I'm dead Whoa oh, cause I'm dead I'm dead, I'm dead, I'm dead
4.
Naked Wii 03:29
Let's play some naked Wii tonight You get controllers out, I'll dim the lights We'll play some Mario Party 'til the sun comes up Let's play some naked Wii tonight Let's play some naked Wii tonight Some homerun derby beneath the stars pure light I'll kick your ass at tennis once or twice (or thrice) Let's play some naked Wii tonight Making Miis until the break of dawn Getting a perfect score on that expert song I'll treasure all the time we share, in Bowser's lair Saving the world again... Let's play some naked Wii tonight I'm getting tired and I want to sit but I'd do anything to watch you play Wii fit Let's play some naked Wii tonight Making Miis until the break of dawn Getting a perfect score on that expert song I'll treasure all the time we share, in Bowser's lair Saving the world again... And we'll be making up sports, of course Like volleyball, curling and maybe bobsled I love it when we play together We could go on forever May our batteries they never go dead Just like the love between you and me The way it's always gonna be Let's play some naked Wii tonight For you I'd walk the tightrope miles high Until the timer ends, or 'til your final life Let's play some naked Wii tonight So we can keep on lovin' how we like Let's play some naked Wii tonight
5.
Villain Song 03:30
Every time I build a robot, every time I sink a ship, every time I throw a girl off of a big old building or abandoned bridge. It seems you're always there to stop me, I've had enough I'm sick of it. No more scheming no more stealing, I think I'm done with all of this... So I took my Death Ray and put it on the shelf, Cause I found your punches to my face were bad for my health. Fired the minions and shut down the lab, sunk the Atomic Sub now it sleeps with the crabs so have fun, cause I'm done, I'm done.... The League of Evil said I'd miss you, The Guild of Demons tried to call, Dr. Hatred told me I was the one that had influenced them all But I would not return a message, still they couldn't take a hint. No more planning, no conniving, I said I'm done with all of this... So I took my Death Ray and put it on the shelf, Cause I found your punches to my face were bad for my health. Fired the minions and shut down the lab, sunk the Atomic Sub now it sleeps with the crabs so have fun, cause I'm done, I'm done.... And now I'm sitting on the beach, sipping drinks all night and day Watching girls in bikinis, eating Crunch Berries and Frito-Lays Until I saw you on the TV, your stupid smile all big and bright The old fire started again burning, it found me itching for a fight. So kicking sand into some kid's face I found my way back home because I missed you, I missed you and I'm pissed... So I found my Death Ray and took it off the shelf, Cause it turns out sitting on the beach was bad for my heath. Called the minions and fired up the lab, raised the Atomic Sub Feels good to be bad, so watch out, watch out, watch out, watch out, watch out, watch out... Cause I'm back!
6.
Hey Latverian Girl, How's your kingdom? Subjugated to a madman with no Face, or are you just a mindless minion? Is your border still patrolled by Doombots? Hey Wakandan Girl, Skin like midnight. You live in a country with a mutant queen Natural exports, like Vibranium Make you richer more than every other country combined And you're guarded by a man who dresses like a panther What's the deal with that? It's totally weird. It doesn't make much sense, but I guess there's always been one And there will always be, will always be, will always be, will always be, will always be one Wakandan Girl! Latverian Girl! You Marvelous Girls! Hey Genoshan Girl, How's your island? Oh shit I forgot, it's all blown up, Sixteen million people, all of them dead, now I feel awkward that I brought it up. Hey Atlantian Girl, How's your cousin? Does he still have a stick up his ass? Oh those little wings on those big ol' feet It's a new century, so ditch the friggin' speedo don't you think? For a monarch, some long pants would be more regal? I would guess that swimming, all the time, Gives you great calves that you'd want to show off. Yeah I know I would, I know I would, I know I would, I know I would, I know I would, I know I would, I know I would hey Atlantian Girl! Genoshan Girl! You Marvelous Girls! Hey the Shi'ar Girl, How's the guardian? What's up with that fugly brush up on his head? Are you guys together, or are you single? Cause I love a woman covered with feathers Hey there Skrull Girl, How's the shape shiftin? I imagine you would have some esteem issues Cause you're always changing, all the damn time Pick a body type, I'll tell you what turns me on I could think of a dozen ways that I'd like to see you mainly naked but always with the chin I know it's wrinkly, but I kinda like it So don't you ever, never, ever, never, ever, never, ever, never, ever, never, ever, never, never get rid of that chin you Skrull Girl! Shi'ar Girl You Marvelous Girls! I love you Marvelous Girls!
7.
Teabagged 03:24
Teabagging, it's what I gotta do It's not like I'm desperate to put my junk on you, I'm just sick of losing and dying all the time. Teabagging, cause I'm killed by little kids I get so frustrated cause I can never win, so when I finally kill one I want them to never forget... I've only got a moment for this embrace, when you can see my squating on your stupid little face And I know that you'll respawn in time, but for now your carcass is all mine I'm ignoring all the rifle fire over my head, but if I cop a victory squat then it's cool if I am dead Because I know that in a second you'll find me again.... then I'll be getting TEABAGGED! Teabagged! Teabagged, oh no, oh yea! Teabagging, it's not like I am proud it's just a result of not running with the crowd I remember controllers with less buttons than my TV remote Teabagging, not like when we were young, back in the day we just played and played for fun Now it's cussing and yelling and sniping you fellow man I've only got a moment for this embrace, when you can see my squating on your stupid little face And I know that you'll respawn in time, but for now your carcass is all mine I'm ignoring all the rifle fire over my head, but if I cop a victory squat then it's cool if I am dead Because I know that in a second you'll find me again.... then I'll be getting TEABAGGED! Teabagged, oh no, oh yea! The world is getting teabagged The universe is teabagged Interplanetary teabagged Metaphysically teabagged Teabagging, it's what I gotta do It's not like I'm desperate to put my junk on you, It's not my invention it's more just a sign of the times.
8.
Don't look now it's another new Crisis, the world's gonna burn will the heroes unite us? Not sure I really even care anymore, following along now feels like a chore. A Countdown, a Civil War, 52 changes; A Green World War and a Secret Invasion I don't wanna stop but it's wearing me out, you and me know this is not what it's all about! We've been dedicating lives, We've been reading all the lines, It doesn't have to be this way, Nobody always needs to die, We don't need all summer long of the same old dance and song... we get so tired of it! When I was just 9 I would get an allowance, to go buy a comic and a SLURPEE and CORNUTS Another big story I was spazzin' out, couldn't wait to see what all the buzz was about. Then everyone told me that everything changes over the summer, I could quite see it but I could tell by the cover that nothing really changed except for me, but I'll keep buying that's the way it will always be! We've been dedicating lives, We've been reading all the lines, It doesn't have to be this way, Nobody always needs to die, We don't need all summer long of the same old dance and song... we get so tired of it! Events are getting out of hand! I'd kill for a one-shot on the stands. And wars, of all kinds breaking bank! I wonder who to thank? I need to know which way this cross-over ends so next year we can do it all over again... Don't look now it's another new Crisis, the world's gonna burn will the heroes unite us? I don't think I really even care anymore, but I'm only fooling no one see you next week at the store....
9.
A planet explodes a baby sent in orbit. It lands in a field they raise it as their own He's here with us now the one we turn to to save us. The last son to shine we're counting on you We're counting on you to save us from a burning building. We're counting on you to follow us in to the night. We're counting on you to pull us up when we are drowning. We're counting on you to be true as you are guarding from the shadows. A light in the sky and then we know that you're around. So we sleep ever tight as you're protecting from the rooftops. On the darkest of nights we're counting on you We're counting on you to save us from a burning building. We're counting on you when we are falling in the the night. We're counting on you to tell us everything's all right. We're counting on you to save us from a burning building We're counting on you. We're counting on you to follow us in to the night. We're counting on you. We're counting on you to pull us up when we are drowning. And we're counting on you. And we're counting on you.
10.
I'm walking in the mini mart there's food on the floor There's carts everywhere, there's blood on the door I just want to buy some snacks and get back home But these ghouls are trying to eat my bones When I finally get home I turn on the TV The undead on the evening news is all I can see So I pop in a movie and I try to relax Listen to me while I tell you some facts Fact The Zombie Apocalypse is messing up my week The internet is always done, can't update the Twitter stream The Zombie Apocalypse, it wouldn't be so bad If these zombies hadn't bitten my mom & dad I decapitated them and now they're buried in back I called my friend to see if he could come by my place By the time he reached my door he was missing his face I feel kind of bad that I did not let him in But without his lips he still had a grin The Zombie Apocalypse is messing up my week It's hard to watch the Daily Show over all the cries and screams Zombie Apocalypse, I'd rather fight a shark I read in a book that you can punch ‘em in the eye But sharks aren't my problem, yeah, and zombies are I've never seen so many girls outside without their clothes on Normally I'd think that's awesome but it's actually a turn off Cause I'm not in to necrophilia, that's a fact Zombies moving slow, I feel like Jackie Joyner Kersey Like the popular kid in school and everybody wants a piece of me But they can't, cause I like my pieces intact It's getting kinda lonely out here by myself Food's running low, there's dust on the shelf But at least I have the voices arguing in my head Which is much better than being undead
11.
Tony Stark 03:19
All your friends are gone, The one true flag that kept you strong has moved on, And you never said goodbye. It never was the plan, but you never looked back you became the man now it's over, the dream has died away. Oh Tony Stark, you pulled the world apart, now you've gotta fix it, now you've gotta fix it Oh Tony Stark, you pulled the world apart, now you've gotta fix it, now you've gotta fix it, now you've gotta fix it... so the world can make you whole again The bottle calls your name like sucking on a thumb 'til Invasion comes yeah it's one way, to make it through the day. Repulsor Rays can detonate, but they can't take away all the names of the fallen, It wasn't supposed to be this way... Oh Tony Stark, you pulled the world apart, now you've gotta fix it, now you've gotta fix it Oh Tony Stark, you pulled the world apart, now you've gotta fix it, now you've gotta fix it, now you've gotta fix it... so the world can make you whole again You're not expected to be a saint in armor yeah, but you had to understand, when you went and took a stand, there was gonna be a fight.... Oh Tony Stark, you pulled the world apart, now you've gotta fix it, now you've gotta fix it Oh Tony Stark, you pulled the world apart, now you've gotta fix it, now you've gotta fix it, and now you've gotta fix it, so the world... and now you've gotta fix it, so the world... and now you've gotta fix it... so the world can make you whole again.

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released January 29, 2009

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Kirby Krackle Seattle, Washington

Founder of Nerd-Rock. Songs = The best in comic books, games, & pop-culture!

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