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1. |
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There's nothing worse than a false start,
spinning out yeah and dodging all the turtle parts
Can somebody help me? I'm trying to get back to the beginning!
Life's a highway of Do or Die's,
Lightning bolt shrunk me damn near 1,000 times
Can somebody help me? I'm trying to get back to the beginning...
I've got a princess in my rear view mirror,
I've got Italians on either side,
I've got a feeling things aren't gonna get better,
so I ride!
There's nothing better than a Blue Shell,
Send it off yeah and send the leader straight to hell
Somebody help me, I'm trying to get back to the beginning!
It's hard to show someone how it feels,
spending half your life slipping on banana peels
Can somebody help me? I'm trying to get back to the beginning...
I've got a princess in my rear view mirror,
I've got Italians on either side,
I've got a feeling things aren't gonna get better,
so I ride!
Well sometimes you get off track,
and then a little yellow man in a smiling cloud brings us back
It's easy to wander far from the shore...
I can't compete with an evil clone,
wearing matching clothes, race me like a throroughbred, little mushroom head
Somebody help me? I'm trying to get back to the beginning
I've got a princess in my rear view mirror,
I've got Italians on either side,
I've got a feeling things aren't gonna get better,
so I ride!
I've got a princess in my rear view mirror,
I've got Italians on either side,
I've got a feeling things aren't gonna get better,
so I ride, I ride, ride, ride...
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2. |
One Of The Guys
03:19
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Oh, somebody told me once,
you can't be a lover and a confidant
and still be a hero made of Big Orange Rocks at the same time...
Oh no!
But I, I haven't learned it yet,
I still blame it all on the accident
the big brain says I'll get fixed, but I never will
That's why I've never felt like one of the guys...
One of the Guys, One of the Guys!
That's why I've never felt like one of the guys
One of the Guys, One of the Guys!
That's why I've never felt like one of the...
Thugs, along Yancy Street,
I never saw a face I didn't wanna beat
I can't go to dinner with my girl without breaking the table,
Oh no!
My whole life, I was walking tall,
now I can't even go to the mall
They call me the ever lovin' blue eyed thing I don't wanna be
Cause I've never felt like one of the guys...
One of the Guys, One of the Guys!
That's why I've never felt like one of the guys
One of the Guys, One of the Guys!
That's why I've never felt like one of the...
I find I'm singing this refrain,
cuz I doubt this feeling will ever change
It's been like this for oh so long...
Spent my life feeling this way,
but after all this time I found, it's fed me all along
and it's made me strong...
When the time comes to end the fun,
I'm the one that gets the business done,
ain't no one in the world that can get in my way
Oh no!
I've found a place among my friends,
and I'll be there up until the end
the first family to make me forget I was so grim
That's why I finally feel like one of the guys...
One of the Guys, One of the Guys!
That's why I finally feel like one of the guys
One of the Guys, One of the Guys!
That's why I finally feel like one of the guys
So now I say it's Clobberin' Time, it's Clobberin' Time
Now it's Clobberin' Time, it's Clobberin' Time
So now I say it's Clobberin' Time, it's Clobberin' Time
Now it's Clobberin' Time, it's Clobberin' Time
So now I say it's Clobberin' Time...
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3. |
Up, Up, Down, Down
03:06
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Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right
B, A, Select, Start, I'm trying to unlock your heart
From years of walls, and when Hyrule falls
I'm hoping that the things I do are working to connect with you.
I see that you frequent my shop
I'd like for you to know my name,
the call me box 138
I think, we are due, for a walk
Cause like me you pull from the middle,
and skip the books up on the top, so...
Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right
B, A, Select, Start, I'm trying to unlock your heart
From years of walls, and when Hyrule falls
I'm hoping that the things I do are working to connect with you.
I wish I could know what you dream
Are you flying high without a care?
Do people often stop and stare?
Cause you're both a girl and fan
I bet it's hard to join the rest
with fanboys staring at your chest, so...
Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right
B, A, Select, Start, I'm trying to unlock your heart
From years of walls, and when Hyrule falls
I'm hoping that the things I do are working to connect with you.
Even though it's improbable, it seems that this could go my way
I should take a risk, then like Wilson Fisk, be the Kingpin of this day
then you turn around and say hello, and everything's okay
That night, when we went on a date
our goals in life we talked about while sipping on a Guiness stout
until we drove back to your place
I said we should do it again
that's when you stabbed me with a pen
because you planned to murder me
cause you've been stalking me for weeks
and then shoved me in your house
and punched me hard right in the mouth
and warned me that I shouldn't scream
or you'd gut me like Wolverine
this date had turned out kinda sucky
i thought i was getting lucky
not cut up in little bits
and served up as your favorite dish
she's a man-eater I'm told
like the song from Hall & Oates
influenced by The Temptations
played on the 60's on every station
I don't know where this song will end
but I don't care because I'm dead
Whoa oh, cause I'm dead
Whoa oh, cause I'm dead
Whoa oh, cause I'm dead
Whoa oh, cause I'm dead
I'm dead, I'm dead, I'm dead
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4. |
Naked Wii
03:29
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Let's play some naked Wii tonight
You get controllers out, I'll dim the lights
We'll play some Mario Party 'til the sun comes up
Let's play some naked Wii tonight
Let's play some naked Wii tonight
Some homerun derby beneath the stars pure light
I'll kick your ass at tennis once or twice (or thrice)
Let's play some naked Wii tonight
Making Miis until the break of dawn
Getting a perfect score on that expert song
I'll treasure all the time we share, in Bowser's lair
Saving the world again...
Let's play some naked Wii tonight
I'm getting tired and I want to sit
but I'd do anything to watch you play Wii fit
Let's play some naked Wii tonight
Making Miis until the break of dawn
Getting a perfect score on that expert song
I'll treasure all the time we share, in Bowser's lair
Saving the world again...
And we'll be making up sports, of course
Like volleyball, curling and maybe bobsled
I love it when we play together
We could go on forever
May our batteries they never go dead
Just like the love between you and me
The way it's always gonna be
Let's play some naked Wii tonight
For you I'd walk the tightrope miles high
Until the timer ends, or 'til your final life
Let's play some naked Wii tonight
So we can keep on lovin' how we like
Let's play some naked Wii tonight
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5. |
Villain Song
03:30
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Every time I build a robot,
every time I sink a ship,
every time I throw a girl off of a big old building or abandoned bridge.
It seems you're always there to stop me,
I've had enough I'm sick of it.
No more scheming no more stealing,
I think I'm done with all of this...
So I took my Death Ray and put it on the shelf,
Cause I found your punches to my face were bad for my health.
Fired the minions and shut down the lab,
sunk the Atomic Sub now it sleeps with the crabs
so have fun, cause I'm done, I'm done....
The League of Evil said I'd miss you,
The Guild of Demons tried to call,
Dr. Hatred told me I was the one that had influenced them all
But I would not return a message,
still they couldn't take a hint.
No more planning, no conniving,
I said I'm done with all of this...
So I took my Death Ray and put it on the shelf,
Cause I found your punches to my face were bad for my health.
Fired the minions and shut down the lab,
sunk the Atomic Sub now it sleeps with the crabs
so have fun, cause I'm done, I'm done....
And now I'm sitting on the beach,
sipping drinks all night and day
Watching girls in bikinis,
eating Crunch Berries and Frito-Lays
Until I saw you on the TV,
your stupid smile all big and bright
The old fire started again burning,
it found me itching for a fight.
So kicking sand into some kid's face
I found my way back home because
I missed you, I missed you and I'm pissed...
So I found my Death Ray and took it off the shelf,
Cause it turns out sitting on the beach was bad for my heath.
Called the minions and fired up the lab, raised the Atomic Sub
Feels good to be bad, so watch out,
watch out, watch out,
watch out, watch out, watch out... Cause I'm back!
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6. |
Marvelous Girls
04:02
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Hey Latverian Girl,
How's your kingdom?
Subjugated to a madman with no
Face, or are you just a mindless minion?
Is your border still patrolled by Doombots?
Hey Wakandan Girl,
Skin like midnight.
You live in a country with a mutant queen
Natural exports, like Vibranium
Make you richer more than every other country combined
And you're guarded by a man who dresses like a panther
What's the deal with that? It's totally weird.
It doesn't make much sense, but I guess there's always been one
And there will always be, will always be, will always be,
will always be, will always be one Wakandan Girl!
Latverian Girl!
You Marvelous Girls!
Hey Genoshan Girl,
How's your island?
Oh shit I forgot, it's all blown up,
Sixteen million people, all of them dead,
now I feel awkward that I brought it up.
Hey Atlantian Girl,
How's your cousin?
Does he still have a stick up his ass?
Oh those little wings on those big ol' feet
It's a new century, so ditch the friggin' speedo don't you think?
For a monarch, some long pants would be more regal?
I would guess that swimming, all the time,
Gives you great calves that you'd want to show off.
Yeah I know I would, I know I would, I know I would, I know I would,
I know I would, I know I would, I know I would hey Atlantian Girl!
Genoshan Girl!
You Marvelous Girls!
Hey the Shi'ar Girl,
How's the guardian?
What's up with that fugly brush up on his head?
Are you guys together, or are you single?
Cause I love a woman covered with feathers
Hey there Skrull Girl,
How's the shape shiftin?
I imagine you would have some esteem issues
Cause you're always changing, all the damn time
Pick a body type, I'll tell you what turns me on
I could think of a dozen ways that I'd like to see you
mainly naked but always with the chin
I know it's wrinkly, but I kinda like it
So don't you ever, never, ever, never, ever, never, ever, never,
ever, never, ever, never, never get rid of that chin you Skrull Girl!
Shi'ar Girl
You Marvelous Girls!
I love you Marvelous Girls!
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7. |
Teabagged
03:24
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Teabagging, it's what I gotta do
It's not like I'm desperate to put my junk on you,
I'm just sick of losing and dying all the time.
Teabagging, cause I'm killed by little kids
I get so frustrated cause I can never win,
so when I finally kill one I want them to never forget...
I've only got a moment for this embrace,
when you can see my squating on your stupid little face
And I know that you'll respawn in time,
but for now your carcass is all mine
I'm ignoring all the rifle fire over my head,
but if I cop a victory squat then it's cool if I am dead
Because I know that in a second you'll find me again....
then I'll be getting TEABAGGED!
Teabagged! Teabagged, oh no, oh yea!
Teabagging, it's not like I am proud
it's just a result of not running with the crowd
I remember controllers with less buttons than my TV remote
Teabagging, not like when we were young,
back in the day we just played and played for fun
Now it's cussing and yelling and sniping you fellow man
I've only got a moment for this embrace,
when you can see my squating on your stupid little face
And I know that you'll respawn in time,
but for now your carcass is all mine
I'm ignoring all the rifle fire over my head,
but if I cop a victory squat then it's cool if I am dead
Because I know that in a second you'll find me again....
then I'll be getting TEABAGGED!
Teabagged, oh no, oh yea!
The world is getting teabagged
The universe is teabagged
Interplanetary teabagged
Metaphysically teabagged
Teabagging, it's what I gotta do
It's not like I'm desperate to put my junk on you,
It's not my invention it's more just a sign of the times.
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8. |
Another New Crisis
02:47
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Don't look now it's another new Crisis,
the world's gonna burn will the heroes unite us?
Not sure I really even care anymore,
following along now feels like a chore.
A Countdown, a Civil War, 52 changes;
A Green World War and a Secret Invasion
I don't wanna stop but it's wearing me out,
you and me know this is not what it's all about!
We've been dedicating lives,
We've been reading all the lines,
It doesn't have to be this way,
Nobody always needs to die,
We don't need all summer long
of the same old dance and song...
we get so tired of it!
When I was just 9 I would get an allowance,
to go buy a comic and a SLURPEE and CORNUTS
Another big story I was spazzin' out,
couldn't wait to see what all the buzz was about.
Then everyone told me that everything changes over the summer,
I could quite see it but I could tell by the cover
that nothing really changed except for me,
but I'll keep buying that's the way it will always be!
We've been dedicating lives,
We've been reading all the lines,
It doesn't have to be this way,
Nobody always needs to die,
We don't need all summer long
of the same old dance and song...
we get so tired of it!
Events are getting out of hand!
I'd kill for a one-shot on the stands.
And wars, of all kinds breaking bank!
I wonder who to thank? I need to know which way this cross-over ends
so next year we can do it all over again...
Don't look now it's another new Crisis,
the world's gonna burn will the heroes unite us?
I don't think I really even care anymore,
but I'm only fooling no one see you next week at the store....
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9. |
Counting On You
02:48
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A planet explodes
a baby sent in orbit. It lands in a field
they raise it as their own
He's here with us now
the one we turn to to save us.
The last son to shine
we're counting on you
We're counting on you
to save us from a burning building.
We're counting on you
to follow us in to the night.
We're counting on you
to pull us up when we are drowning.
We're counting on you to be true
as you are guarding from the shadows.
A light in the sky
and then we know that you're around.
So we sleep ever tight
as you're protecting from the rooftops.
On the darkest of nights
we're counting on you
We're counting on you
to save us from a burning building.
We're counting on you
when we are falling in the the night.
We're counting on you
to tell us everything's all right.
We're counting on you
to save us from a burning building
We're counting on you.
We're counting on you
to follow us in to the night.
We're counting on you.
We're counting on you
to pull us up when we are drowning.
And we're counting on you.
And we're counting on you.
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10. |
Zombie Apocalypse
05:21
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I'm walking in the mini mart there's food on the floor
There's carts everywhere, there's blood on the door
I just want to buy some snacks and get back home
But these ghouls are trying to eat my bones
When I finally get home I turn on the TV
The undead on the evening news is all I can see
So I pop in a movie and I try to relax
Listen to me while I tell you some facts
Fact
The Zombie Apocalypse is messing up my week
The internet is always done,
can't update the Twitter stream
The Zombie Apocalypse,
it wouldn't be so bad
If these zombies hadn't bitten my mom & dad
I decapitated them and now they're buried in back
I called my friend to see if he could come by my place
By the time he reached my door he was missing his face
I feel kind of bad that I did not let him in
But without his lips he still had a grin
The Zombie Apocalypse is messing up my week
It's hard to watch the Daily Show
over all the cries and screams
Zombie Apocalypse,
I'd rather fight a shark
I read in a book that you can punch ‘em in the eye
But sharks aren't my problem, yeah, and zombies are
I've never seen so many girls outside without their clothes on
Normally I'd think that's awesome but it's actually a turn off
Cause I'm not in to necrophilia, that's a fact
Zombies moving slow, I feel like Jackie Joyner Kersey
Like the popular kid in school and everybody wants a piece of me
But they can't, cause I like my pieces intact
It's getting kinda lonely out here by myself
Food's running low, there's dust on the shelf
But at least I have the voices arguing in my head
Which is much better than being undead
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11. |
Tony Stark
03:19
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All your friends are gone,
The one true flag that kept you strong has moved on,
And you never said goodbye.
It never was the plan,
but you never looked back you became the man
now it's over,
the dream has died away.
Oh Tony Stark,
you pulled the world apart,
now you've gotta fix it,
now you've gotta fix it
Oh Tony Stark,
you pulled the world apart,
now you've gotta fix it,
now you've gotta fix it,
now you've gotta fix it...
so the world can make you whole again
The bottle calls your name
like sucking on a thumb 'til Invasion comes
yeah it's one way,
to make it through the day.
Repulsor Rays can detonate,
but they can't take away all the names of the fallen,
It wasn't supposed to be this way...
Oh Tony Stark,
you pulled the world apart,
now you've gotta fix it,
now you've gotta fix it
Oh Tony Stark,
you pulled the world apart,
now you've gotta fix it,
now you've gotta fix it,
now you've gotta fix it...
so the world can make you whole again
You're not expected to be a saint in armor yeah, but you had to understand, when you went and took a stand, there was gonna be a fight....
Oh Tony Stark,
you pulled the world apart,
now you've gotta fix it,
now you've gotta fix it
Oh Tony Stark,
you pulled the world apart,
now you've gotta fix it,
now you've gotta fix it,
and now you've gotta fix it, so the world...
and now you've gotta fix it, so the world...
and now you've gotta fix it...
so the world can make you whole again.
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Kirby Krackle Seattle, Washington
Founder of Nerd-Rock. Songs = The best in comic books, games, & pop-culture!
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